1. My Child Will Never Do That
Yes they will. You just don’t know it yet. People who don’t have children or just had one will naively cast quiet judgement on the parents of any child having a tantrum in the store. There will come a day when you will have no control over your precious little Isabella who’s throwing a monster fit, in public, because she wants things to go her way. I wish for you that the day will never come but I don’t have that type of magical power. From all the parents before you, we forgive you. We thought it too.
2. Why Don’t People In The Drop-Off/Pick-Up Line Pull Up?
Pull all the way up. Don’t be shy. The door to the school is what I’m hoping for. I’m in my pajamas and robe and need this to be a quick operation. Parents who are irritated by this refusal to pull up to the entrance or closer to the car in front of them will start talking to themselves. They will mumble about the person in the offending car, especially if they’re taking forever. “What’s wrong with this person? Why don’t they freaking pull up?” Your face may say it all until you see Sabrina get out of her car to assist her brood and then you smile and wave happily. Oops.
3. I’m Just Running In For One Thing
Fast forward to you at Target with a red cart filled to the brim and a $210 bill. You just ran in for hangers! It starts with the seasonal dollar bins right when you enter. It’s sabotage. Of course you need those cute kiddie trinkets for gifts. And how cute are the pink gardening tools? It doesn’t matter that you don’t garden, they’re only $2. It just goes downhill from there.
4. I Don’t Understand My Child’s Homework
You’ll play it cool in front of your child but there comes a time when you will be puzzled by your child’s homework. Hopefully it’s past the fourth grade. If you’ve forgotten algebra, you’re not alone. Common core math is not the same math you learned when you were in school. It’s a sad moment but remember, you’re fabulous at everything else!
5. Why Is This So Hard?
You will be sleep deprived. You will be wondering why your baby doesn’t stop crying or why he/she won’t go to sleep. You will, for one reason or another, be worried all the time. If your baby has acid re-flux, you’ll be lucky to get both legs shaved before running out of the shower to tend to your screaming child. It’s stressful and you’re tired but it’s going to be O.K. You are a great mommy and even though it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do, it’s the fiercest love you will ever know.